A Guide to getting through the divorce process
Divorce is never an easy time even if it’s an amicable breakdown, emotions can get carried away and before you know it everything seems to spiral out of control. Trying to find ways to make it as easy as possible for you I approached Expert Lawyer Rachel Buckley from The Family Law Company in Exeter to ask what advice she could give to you. Here are some of the tips Rachel suggested. Please do watch and listen to the interview at the bottom of the post where there is so much more information to help you. I hope you find it useful.
Before deciding on a lawyer it is wise to look at some testimonials to get a feel if they are the right one for you - this is important as you will be spending about 6 months with them. Most lawyers will give you a free introductory meeting which will also give you an idea if they are right for you.
Before your first appointment with your chosen lawyer write down as much information as you can to take along. By this I mean bank details, dates of birth, marriage date NI number and anything else relevant such as dates incidents happened. This will save time.
Set up an email account especially for your divorce so that you can look at it and interact at times suited to you and your situation. You can take time to concentrate on what’s going on as apposed to being caught off guard somewhere, or getting messages intermingled with general emails which can get overlooked and even end up in your junk mail.
Create a folder to keep all your paperwork in as there will be quite a lot!
Set up a ring of support which can be your trusted friends, advisors such as accountant, lawyer financial advisor.
Be careful who you discuss your divorce with and who you listen to. People will love to indulge and tell you all about theirs but everyones divorce is different and theirs may have very different outcomes to yours.
Don’t search on line for information on divorce, very often it is centred around the USA and the laws are different in the UK. It’s a bit like looking for medical advice on line - it can become overwhelming and the wrong advice for you!
Take into account your children - try not to fall into the trap of treating your child like a best friend and discussing all the ins and outs with them. It is unfair on the child (no matter what age) as they will still have feelings for their father. They will feel like piggy in the middle and feel like they are being pulled from pillar to post. It’s also an emotional time for them too.
Get some Coaching or Counselling in place so that you have someone neutral and non judgemental to talk to, guide you through the ups and downs and help you to see the bigger picture.
Take each day as it comes and look after yourself. Your mental and physical health and wellbeing are important to see you through. Make sure you have some little things to look forward to.
Last of all remember at Post divorce - You have to learn to let things go and look forward to your future - your exciting new life! What is done is done and there’s no point looking back. If you feel that your confidence has taken a battering I have a free ebook, 15 Ways To Build Your Confidence and Feel Like A Million Dollars you can download here to help you. As always I'm only a call away and would love to hear from you if you feel like to a chat.
Stay well, stay safe and stay positive.